Mange

Wow. In and out of the mall in 20 minutes with exACTly what I wanted. And that includes finding parking, and the fact that the cashiers password was fucked up. I am a goddamned ninja!!!! So, my car will now have the ability to make sound of harmonic type come out of ovoid conic receptors, once I install the fucking head unit. Alpine brand with CD (well, duh....) and it takes 1/8" male jacks (no comments, you lot) AND, andandand, it takes USB standard input, which means I can hook up my iPod, or I can just carry a thumb drive. This means that, at some point, I can get this drive and have all the music I really care about in my pocket. GodDAMN, I love technology.
Of course, this will probably be put in with crude stone tools and chewing gum. Because sometimes, just sometimes, you have to get high-tech to be this crude (bonus points for anyone who can name the reference).

Last night, I got to see my dead uncle's ex-wife, who got kind of a shock as she hasn't even been in the same building as me for like 20 years. Needless to say, I kinda surprised her. It was nice seeing everyone in my family, and I only had to tell my dad to fuck off once. Ate lots of good food, and then went to Nikki's work to play with kitties. They have a cat there named Salami, I kid you not. He is a sweet little spasmo.
Nikki dyed my hair last weekend, and I already have brown roots under the green. Goddamn it, I sometimes hate how fast my hair grows.
In two weeks, I get a free tattoo from a friend who's apprenticing (like I'm short on them already). Now, I've been up since 7 am (after going to sleep at 2 AM) to go to Best Busy. Yes, I'm going to the (ugh) mall at 8 am on the dreaded Black Friday. BUT!!!

I have a bicycle. Fuck all!! I'm not parking for shit.
And the new Anti-Nowhere LEague album is pretty ok. They have like 4 good songs on it. There's a few videos online for it, and Animal still looks like he always did. Motherfuckers who don't age.........
After the mall will be welding with [M]arcus. I love welding.
Tonight is pool with friends in Hamden area. If anyone wants to join us, drop me a text message or an e-mail. We're aiming for 8 or 9.

Bad:
My girlfriend opens a beer, leaves it sitting around for an hour, then takes a huge swig, upending the bottle and causing it to foam all over the place, right next to my computer.

In the course of looking for flights from CT to NOLA, I found this gem:
16hrs 40min - 3 Stops
Start in New Haven, CT (NVH)
Change planes in Philadelphia, PA (PHL)
Change planes in Boston, MA (BOS)
Change planes in Charlotte, NC (CLT)
Land in New Orleans, LA (MSY)

Wait, what? CT to PA to MA to NC to LA>? So, it goes South, then North past point of origin, then South past point of origin AGAIN, then finally figures out where it's going, and heads further South to get to the right place? Yeah, that's ok....
Oh, and the price for this flight? $1061. It leaves mid-afternoon and arrives the next day.

Today, I had to run out before work and grab a dress shirt because I left mine at home. After leaving the store and driving most of the way to work, I noticed it's a small. I'm 6'1", about 190lb, and not exactly "scrawny" anymore. how the FUCK am I wearing a men's small?

...I'm using Chelsea Smiles as a stage name. Just 'cuz......




Look it up if ya don't get the reference.

Mushroom steaks with teriyaki-rum vegetables

4 protabella mushroom tops
Mix of veggies. In this case:
1 bushel asparagus
1/2 pack snow peas
2 cups baby carrots
1 giant penis for seasoning (just kidding.......maybe)
balsamic vinegar
olive oil
rum (white or dark)
cheese to fit your tastes (in our case, Italian medley and parmesan/romano mix)
tabasco sauce (optional)
seasonings (to one's own taste, we used:
garlic salt
sea salt
paprika
ground black pepper
ginger
napalm)

1. Take a pack of Portabella mushroom tops (the ones about 6" across), wash them, and rub down
with olive oil and sea salt. Put them in a pyrex dish top down, so you're looking at the
venting on the underside (yes, I know "venting" is an automotive term, just go with it).
2. In a mixing bowl, combine some horseradish, balsamic vinegar, and worchestershire sauce
(this requires tasting and a lot of stirring with a wire wisk). You want about 1 1/2 to 2
cups, though more is never a problem (it does not hold in the fridge, though).
3. Sprinkle paprika, black pepper, ginger, and garlic salt on the mushroom vents sparingly,
then pour the mixture from the last step on the mushrooms, soaking the venting and pour the
rest into the bottom of the pan. If you're planning to let these marinate for a long time,
occasionally spoon some of the sauce over the mushrooms. I tend to marinate things for a
day or two, but then I'm a bit obsessive, aren't I?
4. When you're ready to make the food, take your veggies for your side dish and prep them (ie:
cutting asparagus in half). This is where you need to know what to sautee first. In this
example, I did the carrots first, and the asparagus and snow peas can go in together. A
good rule is, whatever veggie is hardest, sautee first for a few minutes to soften it up.
Mix a hint of butter, liberal teriyaki sauce, and some white rum (or dark if you
prefer/that's all you have) in a stir pan. We happen to have a deep stir pan with the side
opposite the handle sporting a raised lip, which is useful for tossing veggies in a snap and
happens to be the same diameter as the lid of our biggest pot. A lid is important, as it
allows you to keep the moisture in with the veggies and really get the flavor to permeate.
5. Mix sauce from step 4 with veggies and sautee in whatever order you need.
6. Put the mushrooms in the oven on low broil (this is where pyrex comes in handy, as you
can cook food in it). Keep spooning the sauce over these mushrooms. At 5 minutes, check
them for browning on the edges. When you see browning, take them out for a moment to put
on any toppings you prefer. We use Italian medley cheese from Stop & Shop, along with some
parmesan/romano mix. I don't suggest vegan cheeses for any vegans, as they have really
weird cooking properties, and I've never found one I thought tasted right. Put back in
the oven, and cook until the cheese browns. Once cheese has browned, you can put a bit of
tabasco drops on to improve the spiciness.
7. Keeping an eye on the veggies? Good. Keep cooking until they're only as limp as you like
(stop sniggering in the back, you pervs!). We like our Asparagus firm and jaunty .
8. That's it. Cook while playing Iron Maiden and Napalm Death liberally.

So, about a month ago a coworker said he was giving away his motorcycle to anyone who could remove it from his garage. It's a 1978 Yamaha XS400-2E. Since I've been meaning to get into motorcycling, I offered to take it off his hands. Amazingly enough, the bike has compression and good spark, ever after sitting idle for 6 years. I should be able to slap a battery in, prime the engine, and be ready to go. He even has the manual, which provided me with a good laugh when reading it at work today.
My motorcycle's primer choke is referred to as a "petcock." And you pull it out to prime the engine. You PULL OUT the PETCOCK.
I've never heard it referred to as such. It must have been coined by those fops in "Psychomania." I am dying to say to the local biker gangs, in an effrete British accent, "Pardon, chaps, but I seem to be having a spot of bother with my motor-velo. Could I trouble you to pull my petcock out for me while I work my choke?"
I'll be taking bets on how fast I can get jumped and beaten.

EDITED TO ADD:

Oh, it just gets better.

• My coworker has suggested I say the above phrase at the Red Dog Saloon, the local dive biker bar.


• Apparently, petcock is a real term. The picture on the wikipedia site for htis term is a side shot of the model bike I own. Odd.


• I've been cracking up with a coworker over this for like 10 minutes. Apparently, sleep deprivation makes me laugh like Muttley from Hanna Barbera.


• From the wiki:
  Many motorcycles now have an automatic, vacuum operated, petcock
  I like this idea. Bikes that come with hummers *built in*


• Petcocks get used in farm equipment (this is already going downhill), "such as to provide vacuum to a milking machine if a normal vacuum source was unavailable." Uh......your farm has a petcock that provides vacuum? Isn't that, well, y'know....dangerous?

Ok, that's it. I quit, I'm done.......

It makes more sense if you hear Chicollini say it.
So, I have a recital in two weeks of a part from Faust. This is a youtube video of some pompous ass singing it. Ignore the fact he looks like one of the guys from the State. I hope it gets recorded, so I know if I suck. My teacher, classically-trained pianist and lover of all sorts of music, wants me to do "In Old Mexico" by Tom Lehrer as well. Which is really no more strange than the recital where I did "Singing In The Rain."
And to think, I went to her asking if I could learn to sing like Danzig without the mouthful of marbles.

This Saturday, May 9th of 2009, please join us for a night of classy burlesque, featuring two less classy (but still very funny) hosts, 5 saucy (and still very classy) girls, and one DJ (who has about as much class as a kindergarten in summer). Go-go starts promptly at 9:30 (the crew getting drunk starts promptly when we walk in the door).
( Step this way, folks! See the pretty lady with more feathers than you can fandango.... )

This Saturday, May 9th of 2009, please join us for a night of classy burlesque, featuring two less classy (but still very funny) hosts, 5 saucy (and still very classy) girls, and one DJ (who has about as much class as a kindergarten in summer). Go-go starts promptly at 9:30 (the crew getting drunk starts promptly when we walk in the door).
( Step this way, folks! See the pretty lady with more feathers than you can fandango.... )

OK, so I fell in love with this band in late high school/early college called The Blood. They were on a few Oi comps such as Oi, Oi, That's Yer Lot. A good friend gave me their debut album on an eighth generation tape, which was quite muddy. None-the-less, "Megalomaniac" is a fucking brilliant song, as is "Stark Raving Normal." I got the cd a few years later, entitled "False Gestures for a Devious Public." Amazing album, and it had some bonus tracks and liner notes which were quite neat. I had tried ordering something by them in a record store in Boston about 14 years ago, when the clerk told me there were two albums listed on the microfilm (yes, I'm old) by "the Blood." No guarantee that it was the same band, but why not try? So I ordered it. Never got the damned thing.
About 5 years later, they toured. I saw them at the Tune-Inn with about 5 other people and a dog. Three songs in, they said they weren't gonna play for a couple of Americans, and we all drank at the bar instead. I got their single, which was ok but nothing great. I never thought to ask them about that second album.
Well, in the course of talking to my cousin Monday, he mentioned having seen something about a second album, Se Parare Nex. I check Wikipedia (infallible source that it is....), and sure enough, it's the second album, released in 1985. They also released another ep and some other stuff. So, I hit Soulseek and downloaded it all. I never thought to look before, and had often wished they'd released more. I found the whole kit and kaboodle, and downloaded it ALL.


Not such a good idea. Ya know when you realize that really good band you saw once only had ideas enough for one album? yeah, kinda like that. Although, there's one some that's as amazing as their original singles, which I've been playing on repeat tonight. It just figures the title is "I Dreamt of Your Death Last Night." The rest of the stuff sounds like lukewarm "Phantasmagoria"=era Damned. Not so good. Bleh.

Balloon animal sex.

Napalm Death Vs. Shakira

I just realized that "Wasted Years" by Iron Maiden and "Headhunter" by Front242 could be mixed together pretty smoothly. How fascinating, yet horrifying at the same time.

My tailbone hurts from this shitty chair, I'm tired of writing papers for systems design class, and I'm discussing with an old friend how much we each can drink in beer before we have to piss every three minutes. At least the cats have given me a respite from CONSTANTLY having to fight for space in my lap. I need my sweetie to come home so I can hold her and bury may face in her shoulder.
Maybe this weekend, I'll put the new seat belts in the '72 Buick. I need to get a license plate that reads "BBY-ETR."

Today at work, I actually got to tell a coworker, "Ahhhh, a man after my own heart. Too bad my heart is owned by root, and I took you off my sudo list." He then said he would steal my heart and crack it, to which I replied "You can't. It's 256-bit encrypted. My blood pumps in octal."

And Quetzalcoatl, the larger of the red-tailed boas, is an idiot. She keeps trying to wedge her head between the tank and lid. Hey, snake. Your head is not a chisel.

Today was nuts at Nikki's work. As I was leaving, a cat came in that had been attacked by a local dog. I ended up helping to weigh it and give it oxygen while they were prepping the x-ray machine, then Nikki brought it in. I heard one of the nurses say "Uh....there should be ribs here." Later, one of the girls showed me where they were feeling, and told me to put my hand on it's side. It kind of felt like a balloon stuffed with guts and covered in matted shag carpet. Apparently, the ribs had been shattered and had punctured several organs. Apparently, most of the abdomen was one big hematoma. The woman who brought this cat in was the neighbor of the owner, who was just trying to save her neighbor's animal. The animal before that was a three week old Labrador puppy with a broken pelvis from being put in a cage with three adults and 7 other puppies. One of the adults probably sat on or stepped on him. All it could do was yowl in pain.
This is why I keep my animals locked in the house.

I'm most of the way through learning "Avant quitter ces lieux" from Faust. Holy crap, is my French rusty. But it's quite a fun bit to sing.

I'm still working at the animal rescue, and Tuesdays are my night to clean cages. So, as I'm driving from work to New Haven, I get a text from Nikki, telling me that there's someone I have to meet at the animal hospital. I figure it's a pet who she's taken a liking to, so I send back a text asking what type of animal it is. I get a picture only a minute later of what looks like a blue parakeet in bad lighting, and figure it's some cute bird, since we were talking about them just the other day.
I get there, and it's not a parakeet. Someone brought in a crow with a wounded wing. They think it was being rehabilitated, since it had no fear whatsoever of us and let us hand feed it while it hopped around one of the operating rooms. S/he seems to have a cyst or some scar tissue on the wing right at the pinion point, making it hard to extend, but is completely unabashed about hopping from table to table or gliding short distances. So, as we watched it run around, stopping every ten minutes or so to shit or piss, we gave it bits of bread. It took one of these from my hand, and hopped up onto my glove, then walked up my arm to perch on my shoulder. The little bastard was adorable, looking me in the eye, then preening over my shoulder at Nikki.
Then it shit on my coat.
Apparently, this is some form of affection, so I went with it, and cleaned the coat off with alcohol swabs. As I'm doing this, she decided to try eating the arm of my glasses, which didn't work well. Then s/he wanted to be perched on my head, so s/he jumped up on my scalp and looked around a bit. And pecked my head.
This affection shit is wearing a mite bit thin, birdie.
We got to spend a good bit of time sitting in there, letting the birdie run all over up and hop around, before he went back to soaking the bread in his water dish before eating (which is disgustingly adorable) and drinking, then wandering in circles for an hour. I swear, birds must like doing laps...
He'll most likely go to a rehabilitator, since it's illegal in CT to own native crows without a rehabilitators license, but apparently corvids bond very quickly with humans and can't be introduced back into wild packs, so I wonder how he'd be dealt with.

edited to add:
1. My shower drain is big enough to handle mouse guts. Apparently, out of the last 3-pack of small rats, two had their sides punctured somehow, so the snake managed to squeeze the intestines or something out of both. Removable shower nozzle > sticky rat guts.
2. Mina (the grey and white cat) was yowling at me like she was pissed, so I decided to tell her off. Unfortunately, all I could think of was to tell her in French that she had the head of a duck. Go me.
3. Fuck this. today.clear();face.add(pillow);throw next FallTheFuckAsleep exception;

I've been on an Rudimentary Peni kick since getting the new ep, No More Pain. So, I looked up their official myspace, and they had this posted in a blog. Someone made a video of Lovecraft images, rather well-warped to fit two Rudimentary Peni songs.
Then Alf sang one of their songs. I don't know how I feel about that, but I won't post it, 'cuz it's shite.

Nothing But A Nightmare,
Mange