Mushroom steaks with teriyaki-rum vegetables
4 protabella mushroom tops
Mix of veggies. In this case:
1 bushel asparagus
1/2 pack snow peas
2 cups baby carrots
1 giant penis for seasoning (just kidding.......maybe)
rum (white or dark)
cheese to fit your tastes (in our case, Italian medley and parmesan/romano mix)
tabasco sauce (optional)
seasonings (to one's own taste, we used:
ground black pepper
1. Take a pack of Portabella mushroom tops (the ones about 6" across), wash them, and rub down
with olive oil and sea salt. Put them in a pyrex dish top down, so you're looking at the
venting on the underside (yes, I know "venting" is an automotive term, just go with it).
2. In a mixing bowl, combine some horseradish, balsamic vinegar, and worchestershire sauce
(this requires tasting and a lot of stirring with a wire wisk). You want about 1 1/2 to 2
cups, though more is never a problem (it does not hold in the fridge, though).
3. Sprinkle paprika, black pepper, ginger, and garlic salt on the mushroom vents sparingly,
then pour the mixture from the last step on the mushrooms, soaking the venting and pour the
rest into the bottom of the pan. If you're planning to let these marinate for a long time,
occasionally spoon some of the sauce over the mushrooms. I tend to marinate things for a
day or two, but then I'm a bit obsessive, aren't I?
4. When you're ready to make the food, take your veggies for your side dish and prep them (ie:
cutting asparagus in half). This is where you need to know what to sautee first. In this
example, I did the carrots first, and the asparagus and snow peas can go in together. A
good rule is, whatever veggie is hardest, sautee first for a few minutes to soften it up.
Mix a hint of butter, liberal teriyaki sauce, and some white rum (or dark if you
prefer/that's all you have) in a stir pan. We happen to have a deep stir pan with the side
opposite the handle sporting a raised lip, which is useful for tossing veggies in a snap and
happens to be the same diameter as the lid of our biggest pot. A lid is important, as it
allows you to keep the moisture in with the veggies and really get the flavor to permeate.
5. Mix sauce from step 4 with veggies and sautee in whatever order you need.
6. Put the mushrooms in the oven on low broil (this is where pyrex comes in handy, as you
can cook food in it). Keep spooning the sauce over these mushrooms. At 5 minutes, check
them for browning on the edges. When you see browning, take them out for a moment to put
on any toppings you prefer. We use Italian medley cheese from Stop & Shop, along with some
parmesan/romano mix. I don't suggest vegan cheeses for any vegans, as they have really
weird cooking properties, and I've never found one I thought tasted right. Put back in
the oven, and cook until the cheese browns. Once cheese has browned, you can put a bit of
tabasco drops on to improve the spiciness.
7. Keeping an eye on the veggies? Good. Keep cooking until they're only as limp as you like
(stop sniggering in the back, you pervs!). We like our Asparagus firm and jaunty .
8. That's it. Cook while playing Iron Maiden and Napalm Death liberally.